The Newbie Guide: How to Deal with Stress at College

In 2013, the American Psychology Association published the concerning results of a survey. Seventy percent of directors believed that the number of students with psychological problems on campus had increased in the past year. Anxiety was a major concern among college students. Should we be surprised? College students are put under so much stress that it’s only natural for them to feel the consequences.

Stress is part of us. We even need it sometimes. If someone attacks you, stress is what makes you react. But, it’s not natural for us to feel stressed 24/7.  It’s extremely important for every student to understand how to deal with stress.

Now, let’s get one thing out of the way: there’s no way to eliminate stress from your life. The only thing we can do is reduce it to minimal levels, so we can continue living our lives without being under constant pressure. When the whirlpool of stress takes you in, it’s a force you can hardly fight. That’s the effect we want to avoid.

Since college education is testing your limits every single day, it’s important to develop immunity against stress. If you try hard enough, you’ll get to the point when you recognize the moment that stresses you out, but you’re strong enough to resist the whirlpool. This might be the most important lesson you learn in life.

We’ll give you 10 practical tips that help you to find your way on how to deal with stress at college.

Plan Everything!

Some people say planning stressed them out.  I have one thing to ask: have they ever tried planning? Robert Epstein, psychologist and self-help author, conducted a survey that showed planning was an effective technique for preventing stress. “Fighting stress before it even starts, planning things rather than letting them happen,” – that’s how Epstein sees the benefits of planning.

Start from mapping your steps on “How to deal with stress“ path.

When you take few minutes of your day to plan how you’ll spend it, you’ll feel ready for the challenges. Let’s see: what responsibilities do you have in a day?

  • Lectures till 2 p.m.
  • Lunch and 30 minutes of rest
  • Write homework till 6 p.m.
  • 30 minutes of rest
  • Study till 9 p.m.
  • Spend some time with friends
  • Go to bed before midnight.

If you have such a plan, you know it fits your capacity. If you don’t you’ll be stressed out from the very morning. “Oh my God! I have so many lectures. I’ll be too tired when I’m done with them. When will I write homework? There’s no way I’ll find time for studying. What about the GoT night we were planning?” You see how lack of planning makes your head a complete mess? When you have a plan, you understand how to deal with the stress and that there’s enough time for everything.

Plus, you’ll never forget about a deadline or a test date.

Make Priorities

Okay, sometimes you won’t be able to fit everything in that schedule. You want to explore campus, join two clubs, meet new friends, become part of Greek life, and publish something in the campus newspaper? We’ll have to admit that’s a bit too much.

When you notice you’re pushing yourself beyond your limits, it’s time to step back. What are your priorities? Studying, attending lectures, writing the mandatory projects, and a moderate social life. If you attempt to achieve anything beyond what your capacity allows, you’ll have to sacrifice some of your priorities.. That means you’ll be feeling guilty, and that can mean only one thing: stress.

Always Find Space for Social Time

When you realize you have to sacrifice some of the things you like for the sake of studying, your social life is the first aspect to suffer the consequences. Sometimes that’s necessary. You’ll skip a party because you have to work on that English paper. Working on term papers and studying for a whole month without seeing anyone, however, is a problem.

You need an outlet. Otherwise, you’ll accumulate more stress than you’re able to cope with. Go dancing, meet new people, have walks… just be around people you like. They help you heal.

Just make sure to avoid alcohol and illegal substances. That’s not the right way on how to deal with stress. Plus, it’s not effective at all.

Get Help When You Don’t know How to Deal With Stress

Most college students are going through similar levels of stress. There are those who break under the pressure, there are those who sacrifice their social life to succeed in education, there are those who focus on social life and stop caring about education, and then there are those who know how to outsource and manage to do everything.

If you’re struggling with an important research paper, maybe a friend can help and you’ll return the favor? Okay, it’s not easy to find a friend willing to write you a paper. Maybe you can ask the professor to clarify the assignment? Maybe you can hire a writer to help? Help is available; you should only know where to find it.

Jonathan Brown, a writer from BestEssays, explains: “We have dozens of students coming to us for academic writing help daily. It’s not about being lazy. It’s not always about lacking writing skills. It’s mostly about not having time. These students realized they can achieve much better results when they outsource part of their work, and they are doing that pretty successfully.”

Instead of being stressed about your schedule being too full, think: can you get help with some of the tasks?

Get a Massage

Yes, it’s a serious and practical tip. When you have a busy week, get a massage over the weekend. Being tense reflects on your muscles. Do you notice how your posture is bended forward and your muscles feel stiff when you’re constantly worrying about something? That’s how stress affects your body. When you address those effects, you might reduce the psychological tension, too.

Learn How to Breathe

Breathing is such a natural process for us that we don’t even pay attention to it. When you start paying attention, however, you’ll notice how your breathing changes when you’re feeling stressed. When you’re relaxed, when you know how to deal with stress, you tend to breathe slowly and deeply. When stressed, however, your breath becomes short and shallow. At some moments, you might even catch yourself not breathing.

Try some breathing exercises and you’ll instantly notice a difference. When you’re able to control your breath, you’re practically changing your body’s reaction to stress.

Focus on Yourself

At college, you’re either taking lectures, studying, or hanging out with friends. That’s okay, but you’re constantly surrounded by other people. When will you have some me time? It’s not about being selfish. It’s about respecting yourself.

Reserve at least 20 minutes of your day to focus on yourself. Get deep into your thoughts and feelings. Recognize the moments that caused stress and anxiety. When you figure out what the reasons, you’ll be more aware of your reactions.

Exercise!

Yes, there’s enough time for that. If you’re unable to do it over the week, you can find time during the weekend.

Why do you need physical activity in your life? It pumps up your endorphins. Those are the neurotransmitters that make you feel good.

Pick a type of exercise you feel good about and stay committed to it. You need to turn it into a habit.

Talk to Someone You Trust

Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you. It’s not okay to keep everything inside. Do you have a friend you trust? Share your worries and you’ll find support. Your family is there for you, too.

If you feel like your problems are too big and you don’t want to make the people around feel bad, talk to a counselor. They might recommend a psychotherapist, who will help you get through the times of difficulty and become strong enough to move forward.

Sleep!

Let’s list few consequences of insufficient sleep:

  • Reduced cognitive performance
  • Impaired attention and working memory
  • Increased risk for developing diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure

You’re getting less healthy, less efficient in studying, and more and more stressed when you don’t sleep enough. Adults need around 7-8 hours of sleep for their brain and body to regenerate. Make sure to get that sleep even when you have too much on your schedule.

You can do this

There’s no point in making peace with stress through college. If you don’t fight it, it can bring you to a moment when you don’t even recognize yourself.  Stress is part of our lives, but it’s also something we can manage. Hopefully, you’ll get stronger when you start following the tips above. Here are the action steps:

  • Make plans and priorities, but find time for friends
  • Outsource when you need to
  • Get some me time, which includes exercise and massage
  • Learn how to control the breath
  • Talk to someone you trust
  • Get enough sleep

Seems like a lot of work, but it’s easier than you think.

 

10 Essential Principles To Be Unbelievably Confident

 

10 Essential Principles To Be Unbelievably Confident

 

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. – E.E. Cummings

“Don’t talk to her, you are not good enough”

The ‘encouraging’ thought welled up in my mind.

I was looking at my crush during recess. I thought of approaching her. My internal advisor advised against, and I listened. ‘Lucky….’

My mind had played a defensive script. I had more of these internal dialogues: ‘Just hang low, don’t attract too much attention.’ ‘I am just the quiet guy’ ‘Why are they looking at me like I am a weirdo?’

These self-deprecating thoughts dictated my mind. Somehow I thought I was a loser.

So that’s how I acted.

I didn’t dare do anything beyond my (perceived) capacities or status. I couldn’t even stand up for myself. Every time my bullies threw me in the garbage, I poorly objected.

After an arduous high school journey, college finally arrived.

I vowed to make a fresh start. This time I would be popular! So I impulsively joined a fraternity to compensate for my anxiety. Then I would be cool! Right?

Nope, I just started acting like a dick.

For a long time I mistook my misplaced arrogance, and that of my pledge brothers, for real confidence. I thought we were cool guys. But it was all vain status play. I was still being pushed around. By peers and my inner critic. To feel good I indulged in the theatre of cockiness – putting other people down to feel good. Not my proudest moments…

Strange how you act so counter-productive when feeling insecure.

After I was left heartbroken by my girlfriend, I hit emotional rock bottom. Something snapped.

What the fuck had I been doing? I could not go through life from misery to misery. Faking who I was, to have some intermittent highlight of joy. My circumstances should allow me to feel confident? Why wasn’t I ever feeling that way?

It was due time to get my shit together.

Two years later.

One of my (truly) best friend sits next to me. We are both a bit drunk and bantering away. He suddenly proclaims “You know most of your douchy frat brothers look up to you.” “Why?” I ask astounded. “Because you are always relaxed and confident. You are not swayed by what other people say or think about you.” “What? Are you kidding me? But I am just some nerdy guy?”

Only then it dawned on me.

I wasn’t a little pushover anymore. Somehow had I become confident. Besides I wasn’t acting like a dick anymore. Instead I was helping people because of my confidence. How did that happen?

Was I richer? Nope! Better looking? Definitely not. More intelligent? Me no thinksie!

Somewhere along the way I had discarded my misguided programming. Replacing it with constructive thinking patterns.

When I reached my low point years back. I vowed to improve myself. Immersing myself in motivational speeches and devouring self-help books. I knew that the positive words would rub off on my conscious and subconscious.

I started applying advices and mindsets. Using a growth mindset and most of all – I started taking action!

I am convinced anyone can grow to become confident. You too can gain mature and sustainable self-confidence. But it does mean a mental shift from the conventional.

Are you up to the challenge? Sure you are!

Time to take control.

Time to discard a life of limiting thoughts. Thoughts induced by fraudulent advertising, faulty upbringing and fake peers. Embrace the right way of thinking to be confident.

Let me introduce you to the basic confident mental models that helped me. With them I grew to someone I am proud of. Rethink yourself and your place in the world.

I give this advice because the world would be much better if we all were more confident. We would stop mitigating our anxieties and insecurities through destructive behavior. Instead you could use that confidence to support yourself, friends and strangers.

Let’s get started:

10 Essential Principles To Be Unbelievably Confident

#1 – Be honest about your life and accept who you are

Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. – Tyler Durden

Let’s start from scratch.

Be brutally honest about where you are in life. Know it, feel it! Be honest about it to yourself and others. Stop denying and hiding from truths. What you deny, you can’t change.

Hard to grasp? Sit down and write it out.

I am a 28 year old guy in a shit job, wanting to travel the world. But can’t find the guts to cut some ties.

Your turn! The harder it is, the more you need to confront yourself.

Secondly – accept who you are.

You have strengths and weaknesses. And hey, you can improve them.

But not until you embrace who you are. Accept yourself as you are right now, with all your flaws and shortcomings. Find contentment in it. Because there is simply no other reality.

Through this utter acceptance you can you grow.

 

#2 Define your own values and framework

To grow confident you need to stop chasing illusions. Stop comparing yourself to what others demand of you. Or worse, what you think they expect from you.

Start by defining your own values. What is important to you? Why is it important? Start acting by these values.

Make a thorough analysis when defining your values. Make it profound.

Ask yourself: What implies my culture? And why? Do I agree? What did my parents teach me? Do I agree? And why? And so on. Get to the bottom of your thoughts and feelings.

Through reading, discussing and reflecting you can develop your set of standards and values. Use your own instinct, feelings and reasoning!

Recognize influence from group dynamics. So you won’t blindly follow the herd. Thinking for yourself means creating or choosing your own path in life.

Explore many sources to hone your thought and values. Read books and blogs. Have discussions and conversations. But always be critical and keep your wit.

Confident men and women define others by their standards. Not themselves by other people’s standards.

Create and follow your own moral compass.

 

#3 Go from outer reference to inner reference

There is definite proof that social media makes people feel bad. Why has he so many likes? Why is she going to cool parties etc.?

You might display similar behavior in the analog world. Why is he richer? Happier? Or more successful?

Strange how we make these unfair comparisons. We take a look at appearances and then compare it to how we feel inside.

We compare our inner-self, to the highly curated image of other people’s outer self.

A good recipe for misery.

Stop this unfair equation. Instead focus on yourself. To develop, think about how you make progress compared to your old self. Did I do better than the me of a month ago? Or a year ago? Did you make progress? That is success!

Progress of self is important for confidence.

And who is responsible for this confidence?

Who is responsible for success? And who for your failures? Where do you think control lies?

Confident people think it lies within themselves. They have cultivated an inner locus of control.

This means taking responsibility for your actions and results. You think you are responsible for how you feel and what you think.

Compare this to blaming everything on external actors. Like your boss, parents, the weather, or divine will. If you don’t think YOU are responsible, you won’t be inclined to improve.

Making yourself responsible will.

Granted, some things definitely are out of your control. But you are responsible for your reactions to these events.

 

#4 Adapt a growth mindset

As mentioned, developing and confidence go hand in hand. To stand still is to go backwards.

A fatal flaw people are susceptible to, is thinking their skills and character are set in stone. This deterministic mindset is incompatible with progress. It’s a limiting self-fulfilling prophecy.

If this is you, start adopting a growth mindset instead.

Know you can improve any skill! Know you can develop your character!

As long as you are alive, your body and mind can adapt to new challenges. Never think you can’t grow any further.

Furthermore, a healthy growth mindset acknowledges failure.

There is a lot of sketching before you draw a Mona Lisa. Redefine failure not as something stupid or dumb only for losers. But define it as a part of the learning process.

Failures will occur. Anticipate the impact and plan for getting back up!

Every failure is another lesson learned.

#5 Stop seeking validation and acceptance from others

As a person led by inner values you won’t need attention, validation and acceptance of others.

You might get it. You might even enjoy it.

But you don’t need it!

Stop actively seeking and craving it. Stop pleasing people to get it.

You can be nice to people! Of course! But it should come from a position of strength and compassion. Not from seeking acceptance and attention. Your own acceptance and moral integrity are the most important. Others can follow if they want.

If you condone behavior opposite to your values, or give away status to be accepted. You act without integrity. Losing confidence in the process.

Instead, stand by your values!

 

#6 Cultivate a Bias for the Positive

People have this amazing power to decide how they feel about events. A small pause between stimuli and reaction. As mentioned by  Victor Frankl.

Cultivate this little pause.  And use it to choose a more positive reaction.

Guide your responses away from annoyance, anger or fear. Go instead for interest, gratefulness or excitement.

You can actively rephrase your thought patterns. Train different ways of thinking and speaking.

Examples of redefining your view on the world are:

–    Think in solutions instead of problems
–    Reflect on past achievements instead of past transgressions.
–    Enjoy the process instead of only seeing the goal.
–    Never let a good crisis go to waste
–    Focus on what you want instead of what you avoid

Of course there will always be old negative thinking patterns. Try using them as little as possible and actively immerse your mind with positivity.

Read uplifting books. Use mantra’s to rewire your brain. Let go of toxic people and environments and embrace uplifting ones.

All little steps to be more optimistic and confident.

“Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.” – Frank Outlaw

 

#7 Lose self-limiting beliefs

When we grow up, we create models of the world.

We construct beliefs that explain what happens around us. X happens because of Y. End of story.

These beliefs can be deeply ingrained in our thinking.

But, a lot of beliefs are flawed. They limit your progress and possibilities. They prevent you from action and enjoying life.

Grow beyond these scripts.

First recognize them. When you think “I can’t do X because of Y.” Or anything similar, be alert!

Analyze whether that statement is true. And why. Reason even furthers. ‘Why do I think that?’ ‘Are not other people doing the same thing?’ Find prove that it is possible, contradicting your initial limiting belief.

Then redefine your scripts. Because these imposed scripts will limit you. Instead of thinking I can’t do this. Think I can do X despite Y.

This is a hard and elusive problem – but it can be countered!

#8 Forgive yourself and others

We all fuck up in life.

It’s a good idea to remind yourself everyday of your mistakes. And make yourself feel very miserable.

No of course not!!

You should learn from your mistakes. Absolutely. But wallowing in negative feelings won’t help. There is little you can change about past events. It has happened.

Instead: Own up to it, fix the problem if you can, forgive yourself, learn and move on. Don’t waste time and energy feeling bummed out about it.

Take the time to forgive yourself for mistakes.

Also – stop holding grudges. It is no good to keep being mad or grieved at others for their mistakes. Let go of it, you’ll release yourself from emotional poison.

Forgiveness allows you to focus on the now and the future instead of dwelling in the past.

 

#9 Be Self Reliant

Part of being confident is you know everything will be all right. Especially when shit hits the fan.

Got dumped? Got laid off? Dust yourself off, and tell yourself it will be all right.

No spiraling down in destructive self-pity. No bouts of whining and comfort seeking from friends and family.

Of course you can mourn. You can be sad or melancholic. It is not about being happy and joyful all the time. We all experience a wide range of emotion. Important emotions that are part of the human experience.

But inside, you know you the bad times will pass.

So you will tell yourself.

You will feel good and grow stronger in the future.

 

#10 Don’t take yourself too seriously

We are all insignificant bags of meat and bones. Trying to make meaning of a collection of random events called life.

People seeking power, fame and money are just looking for that bliss they had as a child. When life wasn’t that hard, when we weren’t putting so much pressure on ourselves.

Were you taking things seriously back then? I guess not right. Is there any reason to be serious about everything now? In a world filled with randomness? No reason at all.

Go with the flow and laugh about your own mistakes, successes and theatrics!

The world’s a stage and we are best in fooling ourselves with our performances! Choose the role you want and enjoy it. Knowing fully well, it is all a game if you just choose to play and have fun.

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.  –Elbert Hubbard

—————–

Becoming confident comes at a price.

Change. 

A change of heart and mind. Believe me, it is well worth it. If you succeed, you will still have ups and down in life. But also a steady level contentment. An anchor of stability that keeps you going without all too much problems.

So how can you possible make this shift? Small consistent steps. Here are some action to get started:

  • Define your own values
    • Sit down and reflect, evaluate and define what is important to you
    • Reflect and refine your values over your life
    • Live true to them
  • Start a meditation practice to gain insight and control over your mind
  • Stop watching social media compulsively
    • Read positive, growth focused books, blogs and movies
    • Start slow, you will get there step by step. Start taking control and responsibility for your mind.

I love to hear your thoughts on all this. Let me know what opened your mind? Where are you struggling to become confident?

 

Lacking Self-Esteem? Here’s How to Get More Confidence

 

https://motivationgrid.com/how-to-get-more-confidence/

Self-esteem can have a massive impact on every area of your life.

Sometimes our upbringings and life experiences can lead us to ask “how can I be confident in myself when I feel like a failure?”

Every one of us has things in our lives that make our confidence waiver. Whether you are shy and have difficulty meeting new people, have body image issues, or have experienced a recent breakup, there are many things that can negatively impact our self-esteem.

The good news is, this state of mind isn’t permanent and there are a variety of confidence-building activities that can teach you how to gain self-esteem.

This article will explore the significance of self-esteem, provides a self-confidence test and examine different self-confidence tips and strategies.

How Does Self-Esteem Impact Our Lives?

Let’s start by taking some time to go over the importance of self-confidence.

Someone that is confident about their value, skills and abilities will convey this to the people around them. They are more likely to succeed with social, professional and personal ventures.

Now picture someone with low self-esteem. They are likely to have a difficult time in all of the areas addressed above. They may not go after what they want because they believe they will fail or they are not good enough to achieve what they desire. Even if their skills and abilities are identical to the person with higher levels of confidence, they have a harder time convincing themselves of their worth and ultimately succeeding in critical life areas.

Do you suffer from low confidence?

Take the self-confidence test below to determine if you might have a problem.

How Much Self-Confidence Do You Have?

Self-esteem is an essential component of personal satisfaction, fulfilling relationships and life achievements. Answer the following questions with a “yes” or “no” to begin your confidence test.

  1. Do you believe that if you work hard and dedicate yourself to your goals that you’ll achieve them?
  2. If you don’t experience success the first time you try something, do you try again or simply give up?
  3. If you work hard to solve a problem, do you believe that you’ll eventually find the answer?
  4. Are you likely to keep trying after others have given up?
  5. Is rejection and criticism something that you can overcome relatively easily?
  6. Do you feel that you are worthy of love and affection?
  7. If you were to suddenly disappear, do you think most people would notice?
  8. If you disagree with someone, are you likely to express your opposing thoughts and feelings?
  9. Do you initiate new relationships and feel that others enjoy your company?
  10. Do you feel like you bring value to your relationships, employer and community?
  11. When you compare yourself to others do you still feel good about yourself and your achievements?
  12. Do you feel like you can be yourself around others and still make a good impression?
  13. If someone points out your mistakes or shortcomings do you take it as an opportunity for self-improvement?
  14. After you complete a project, do you feel good about it even if no one recognizes your work?
  15. Do you like yourself for who you are?

Once you’ve finished answering the questions above, count the number of times you responded with a “No.” If seven or more questions were answered with a “No” then you might have a problem with self-confidence.

So, now the focus should shift to “how to get more confidence and self-esteem.” If you’re ready to do this, then continue reading for some helpful self-confidence tips and strategies.

How To Get More Confidence ~ Everyday Tactics

Which comes first, confidence or success?

While success can certainly give your confidence a healthy boost, it is not necessarily what creates confidence.

If you start out with the confidence to try to achieve specific goals, and accept the possibility that you might fail, then you will be much more likely to achieve them.

For example, let’s say you are a new student of the English language. You may be wondering “how to build confidence in speaking English?”

The important thing to keep in mind is that this type of confidence will develop over time. As you practice and embrace the fact that you will make mistakes, your small successes will slowly build up to large ones and your confidence will also begin to increase.

When we look at making overall improvements to self-confidence, there are a variety of methods to help make this happen.

The following list examines a few powerful ways to get started:

  • Exercise: This may seem unrelated to building confidence in relationships or your professional life but it can have a very large impact on your general self-esteem. On a basic level, increasing physical fitness can improve your self-image and elevate your perception of yourself. The act of completing the challenge of exercise itself offers regular proof of success and your body and mind will become accustomed to believing that you can achieve your goals.
  • Shift Your Focus: Take a few minutes every day to focus on your positive characteristics and achievements. This can be difficult if you’re used to dwelling on your shortcomings, but with some practice it will become easier and easier to change your perspective and build up your confidence.
  • Fake It: It can be hard to act confident when you’re not really feeling it but the results can be pretty profound. Tailoring your appearance and actions to convey confidence can actually create real feelings to emerge. One powerful way to employ this tactic is through “power poses.”
  • Prepare Yourself: Oftentimes, showing up to a situation unprepared can wreak havoc on our confidence levels. Our anxiety shoots up and we come across as unsure and awkward. Whether you are going out on a date with your long-time crush or giving a performance management presentation to the executives at your company, taking the time to prepare for the event can really help your confidence levels and set you up for success.
  • Embrace Self-Improvement: It may not be fun, but when we actually look at the things we are not fond of about ourselves, it gives us a chance to fix them. Sometimes we lack confidence because we haven’t taken the time to work on building our skills, knowledge, etc. This strategy is a long-term one but it can go a long way toward improving your self-confidence.

Action Steps to Take

We’ve established the impact that confidence can have on your relationships, work, ambition, and your everyday life experiences. Most of us could use some extra self-confidence and there are many ways to get to a place where we can effectively give our confidence a boost. Once you determine your level of self-confidence, it’s time to pick some tactics to improve it.

While some may find exercise and prep work to be a good route, others might have better results with a shift in focus, power poses and a plan for self-improvement.

The most critical step in the process is deciding to move forward and get started. Low self-confidence is definitely a problem but it doesn’t have to be a permanent state of mind. Do you have any other tips for improving confidence? We’d love to hear about them.

 

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7 Secret Ways to Stay Happy Even When Life Knocks You Down

When I was a kid I never contemplated the profound subject called happiness, yet I was fully content. My pockets were empty, but Super Mario was collecting coins and that was enough for me to be happy. As the years passed, the game of Mario was replaced by the games of life. I realized in college that my knowledge about the world was improving, but everything I knew about myself was gradually fading away. While enduring the asperities of life, I realized how the folly of my own actions was the source of this blunder of my life.  I found myself entangled in the series of worthless tasks and had almost forgotten that life is ephemeral. In the pursuit of solitude and happiness, I came across some of its secrets and I realized this planet is full of people who are alive, but have forgotten to live.

Thus, I’m sharing these 7 secrets to stay happy even when life tries to bring you down.

1. Your First Crush Should Be You

Time never sets itself on rest. One more year has arrived. You and I are still alive. And if we are alive, what are we living for? Some of us have planned resolutions and others find themselves confused as to what to include in the list. After all, knowing oneself is the most difficult task and we aren’t born with manuals. Discerning the complex gadgets is easier than figuring out the control of the brain. One thing is certain, we all are looking for happiness, but the problem is we are searching for it outside, not at the place where it resides. We see happiness in the presence of others. When they are present, we feel happy. In their absence, we get distracted from our paths.

If we can’t enjoy our own company, chances are others will also hate being with us. So, bestow yourself with what you desperately seek from others: love. Yes, your first crush should be you. Fall in love with yourself and see how your life will be transformed. Happiness inhabits in the acts of giving and if you’re determined to give then start it by giving to yourself first. After all, only a heart full of love can spread love and happiness.

2. Your First Date Should Be with Your Own Self

Take time to connect with your inner self and realize what you truly desire. Happiness will spring out of you, once you realize that you can live satisfactorily without the need to prove yourself to others. The more you know yourself, the less of a chance you get hurt by others. Give time to all the thoughts that are transmitting through your mind and conceive all those that you think are pragmatic. Note everything down in your journal and read it before falling asleep at night.

3. Days are Incomplete Without Nights

Life cannot be separated from sadness.  Trying to eliminate sadness is like inhaling without ever exhaling – impossible. Your agitation will further engulf you into the bog of sadness. Therefore, the only escape is to embrace it. We live in a world of emotions where we deal with many lousy circumstances. Often bad things happen at unexpected times. But the truth is no one actually expects misery. Do you?

If anticipate sadness, stop! You never know when  the ‘Law of Attraction’ will activate itself. Sadness is not a specific thing that you need to root out. It’s an emotion that some feel when things don’t yield the expected outcome. Observe your emotions and accept them, you will find it’s you who is emitting this emotion of sadness. Then it will be easier for you to control your own feelings. If you have messed up something, focus on its improvement rather than loathing for its first outcome. This will help you stay happy when momentary sadness hits.

4. Life is Full of Choices

When life knocks you down you have two options: either give up or gather courage and stand up again. You certainly won’t give up and live as a loser. So always keep your attention on your improvement. Results of your effort will be in your favor when you solely focus on progress and getting better. Everything is possible when you pick the path of self-improvement. Some take this path early and others delay it. If you have to walk on this road, then what are you waiting for?

5. Ditch the Negativity

Happy people understand negativity won’t let them move forward in life. It will stall their growth. Therefore, ditching all the negative thoughts should be on your daily hit list. Assess your surroundings and mindset of all the people you spend time with. If you find anything or anyone filling your life with negativity, send him on a long trip to the island of avoidance. Never compromise when it comes to negativity. It is the root cause of all your sufferings.

 6. Follow the Diamond Rule of Being Self Sufficient

If you ask people how they want to be treated, none of them would say: “I want to be treated badly”.  The rule, ‘treat others as you want to be treated’ seems meaningless. And the cousin of this rule suggests: ‘treat others as they want to be treated’. The problem with this rule is it is people-oriented. It emotionally involves you with the actions of other people and engages you in futile activities of outer world that do no good for you. Happiness walks into your life when you focus on your life and spend time making it better.

Keep your focus on yourself only. To find yourself, you need to have good control over yourself. As I always say: “People will shoot you with the bullets of criticism, fighting the battle and standing firmly under the shelter of self belief is the only recipe of being a Champion.”

For ounce  you’ve taken time to understand yourself fully, it’ll become quite easy for you to understand others. Listen to their stories genuinely and this will bring joy to you. This habit can be developed only when you let the voice of your heart be heard by your ears and brain.

7. Listen to Your Inner Voice

Someone’s opinion, whether it is in favor of yours or against, can never influence your life unless you let it. Thus, removing the extrinsic voices that make you feel apathetic and block your happiness is a crucial step to take. It is imperative to stay in a state of solitude and to listen to our deep inner thoughts; especially when we’re chasing happiness. Are you appreciating your mortal life? Admiring the beauty within and of our surroundings should be a resolution of yours. When was the last time you saw a caterpillar turning into a butterfly… and the beauty of its wings as it flies?

When was the last time you looked up in the sky, gazed the twinkling stars and smiled? When was the last time you held the hands of loved ones and thanked them for being in your life?  Acknowledge the beauty that resides within you and honor yourself by bringing smile on the faces of others. Let us all bring the happiness into our acts.

Turning Procrastination Into Motivation

 

Turning Procrastination Into Motivation

 

Procrastination is something many people suffer from daily. Fortunately, it’s also something that is purely mind over matter to overcome.

Typical procrastination excuses we tell ourselves

  • I’ll do this tomorrow, there’s not enough time to do this today.
  • I work better under pressure, I’ll wait until it’s almost due and then the work will be even better.
  • This is such a huge project, I don’t even want to think about it yet, I’ll put it off for one more day.
  • I don’t really need to do this yet; it can wait until sometime in the future.

Unfortunately all of these lead to the inevitable day when you must actually complete the task. And while most people actually do get it done under that time pressure, working that way does not always produce the best results, and allows less time to proof and make it perfect.

The causes of procrastination:

Perhaps procrastination is a part of the human condition, having an extended period of time to accomplish something makes us put it off into the future, even if we can begin it now.Perhaps it is modern society, which often times seems to focus on immediate and instant results, rather than something carefully crafted and refined over a longer period of time.

Part of the modern business world for most of us also involves a constant connectivity. Cell phones, office phones, email, Blackberries, etc. are constantly ringing, buzzing and updatinginterrupting us with communications. Our friends, parents, co-workers, bosses, managers, etc. all are vying for our attention for sometimes trivial and sometimes important messages.

While these are all part of modern life, and we have learned to function efficiently with them, they can be a hindrance when in the midst of a project which requires complete focus. There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying in touch and being friendly/social with your peers, co-workers and friends, and giving proper attention to your loved ones – in fact I encourage all of those things. But there is a time and a place, and unfortunately being distracted can sometimes make you lose focus and motivation with the task at hand.

6 ways to minimalize procrastination and maximize motivation:

  • To be the most proficient, successful and happy at whatever it is you do in life, especially if you are producing intellectual products; you need to have a distraction-free environment. This will guarantee your mind is completely focused on the task at hand and you’ll always get the best results.
  • Start projects immediately if you have idle time. Once you actually start something and get into the flow of it, you’d be surprised how easy it is. Don’t think about starting something, act. You can always tweak the project and make changes as you go along.Getting that first start is vital.
  • Remove all distractions from your environment. Anything that will make you lose focus is something that will potentially set you up for procrastination and destroy your motivation.
  • Eat well, sleep well and get exercise. From personal experience, a healthy mind and body is less likely to procrastinate. You’ll feel better, you’ll be more upbeat and active, and more optimistic about accomplishing your goals sooner rather than later. If you’re tired or hungover, you’ll be less productive and more likely to procrastinate a task until the next day.
  • Mix up your projects and assignments so you’re not simply doing the same exact thing every day. If you keep things fresh they will be more interesting and compelling for you to work on, and you’ll be less likely to procrastinate them.
  • Keep your thoughts positive, and recognize when you’re entering a cycle of procrastination. Here is where you will need to address mind over matter. Start by just getting into it and doing step one of whatever your task is and go from there. Sit down and break the project up into consumable parts that are less daunting.