Married Or Not… You Should Read This Husband’s Story

 

When I got home that night my wife served dinner. I held her hand and said, “I’ve got something to tell you.” She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking about divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, “Why?”

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, “You are not a man!”

That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore, I just pitied her.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources, and energy but I could not take back what I had said. I loved Jane now.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came home late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still at the table writing.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions. She didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple; our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me, but she had something more. She asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration, I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy, but just to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. “No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce,” she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any physical contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, “Daddy is holding Mommy in his arms.”

His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the living room and to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, “Don’t tell our son about the divorce.”

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying. Our marriage had taken its toll on her, and for a minute, I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, “All my dresses have grown bigger.” I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, and that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, “Dad, it’s time to carry mom out.” To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the living room, and to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, just like on our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, “I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.”

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door. “Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.”

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. “Do you have a fever?” she replied.

I moved her hand off my head. “Sorry, Jane,” I said. “I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day, I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.”

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The saleswoman asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, “I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.”

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face. I ran up the stairs only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting cancer for months, but I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and wanted to save me from any negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son, I’m a loving husband.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It’s not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Have a real happy marriage!

Read more at http://www.sunnyskyz.com/feel-good-story/1125/Married-Or-Not-You-Should-Read-This-Husband-s-Story#IXUoJLhzMbZHoHXU.99

You Alone Are Good Enough

I don’t deal with change well. Actually, I would rather stay in the same place, with the same people for the rest of my life. Kind of in my own bubble. But life just doesn’t work that way. I don’t like to be pushed out of my comfort zone. It scares me to even fathom trying new things. But when I finally do, I find this new sense of identity and direction every time. It’s a feeling I can’t describe.

Before I lost my dad to cancer I had the perfect family, perfect childhood. We went on vacations, had big family dinners, parties and always spent the weekends doing things as a family. I guess you could say I was naive and oblivious to what was set to happen, which would change the course of my life, entirely.

I don’t think any 10 year old can ever understand what battling a terminal illness is like.

I was still playing with stuffed animals and barbies, holding onto my favorite red blanket any where I went.

I had that security that a lot of other kids didn’t have. My parents were happily married, had respectable jobs, we lived in a comfortable, modest townhouse and I had lots of toys and friends.

I was in paradise.

That brief point in my life is now, only remembered through the dust-stained photo albums.

Fast forward to four years later, in some ways I ache for the comfort and security I had before.

I never had to worry if we could afford to pay the bills, food on the table or a place to sleep. That luxury was given to me.

Until it wasn’t anymore.

My family struggled. Emotionally, physically, financially. But we did it together. That’s what kept me strong.

The day my dad died we stopped going out together on the weekends, we no longer ate family dinners and I couldn’t pick all the toys off the store shelf.

His funeral ate a big chunk of my mom’s savings. We were uncertain what was to come.

I had to mature and be resilient without a choice.

Since then I have always built walls around the people in my life in order to protect myself. It was my main coping mechanism when my dad I was receiving treatment and continued after he died.

I am naturally out-going and very social. But now I find having meaning relationships is something I’m yet to discover.

I’ve been so used to others walking in and out of my life. They all leave to find other people who suit them better or just get tired of me.

I struggle with anxiety. Every little thing is like a mountainous journey. I procrastinate and worry about everything. I have always been afraid of showing people who I really am.

Because it’s not easy grieving and feeling like your always alone.

So I shut myself out even when I don’t mean to. I can’t control when I’m about to break down or just snap.

I want so badly to feel control. To feel like I can cope and organize how I feel.

But right now it’s a catastrophe.

I can only find serendipity in music and dance. I am in another world. I am a different person when I’m on stage.

That’s what keeps me going.

I thrive on the memories of the relationship I had with my dad to keep me going.

So even when I lose and gain friends I know that there is that constant that I will have for the rest of my life.

And though I am fearful of where I go and what happens, I know that deep down the world is a beautiful place.

Despite tragedy, loss and change.

Because this is how I grow. Through every little victory. Because every day I look up to the sky and know that my dad and who I really am is out there floating among the clouds and I just have to try.

There is hope and possibility in every moment and every challenge you may face.

You are built to fail. But you are built to overcome.

No one can help you find your identity, only you can. Who you are is a multitude of misadventures, fails and plenty of heart break and loss.

As much I yearn for friends that I once had, that are now a distant memory and the life I used to have with the most important person in my life, I know that my life ahead of me is going to be better. Not because people tell me it is. Because I know that I have experienced alot more in fourteen years than some people experience in their lifetime and that’s what makes me who I am.

I have a lot to give to the world and that’s what I’m going to do.

Everyone has a story. Big or small. Everything matters.

You are beautiful. Who you are is so important to this world, I hope you never lose it.

Life is beautiful and never forget that you alone are good enough.

 

How to Be Strong After a Breakup

 

When a relationship is over, feelings of rejection can numb your sense of self and wreck your balance. For many jilted lovers, the first impulse is to try to fix what’s broken or recover what was lost. But often, the beloved has moved on and reconciliation is not possible. And still you persist. How can you ever move on?

 

how can you believe an affirmation of worth when you are convinced of your unworthiness? And why would you use strategies for moving on when you’re still trying to find a solution that will win back your beloved? These are excellent points. So let’s examine “coping with a break-up” from this very different perspective.

If you are still distressed by feelings of failure, idealizing the one who rejected you, and intent on recovering the lost relationship, you’ve essentially granted this relationship the power to consume your life and create your misery.

Powerless, you’ve become invisible, even to yourself, and certainly to this desired person– or any other person who might be a potential mate. You may harbor a sense of being stuck, or feeling suspended from truly living. In fact, it’s quite difficult to win anyone’s affection while you’re feeling like a loser.

So here is a set of strategies for reclaiming your power and recovering yourself, including your emotional equilibrium, your vitality, and your self-worth.

Forget about moving on.  Moving on and away from your beloved before you’re ready only increases your distress. Where you are right now is precisely where you belong.

Instead, envision moving forward. Moving forward means not staying stuck in the same place that’s getting you nowhere fast. In other words, if a life strategy isn’t working after many months, don’t think “must do this harder, longer, faster, stronger”. Instead, think, “must find a new life strategy.” And if you’re destined to be with your beloved, moving forward simply brings you into a better place to make that happen.

See your reactions as normal. Our brains and bodies are wired to have powerfully painful reactions to rejection. The break-up of a relationship can trigger a cascade of chemicals that make you feel lonely, depressed, and worthless—especially if you see the rejecter as “the one for you”.  You are not crazy– you’re in a natural state of distress.

Face your grief. It can be tempting to avoid grief. You may be fearful that it will be too painful, especially since you’ve lost someone and something precious. But repressing your grief can result in depression, anxiety, obsession, suppressed immune system, and chronic despair. Avoiding grief keeps you feeling stuck and powerless.

See grief as a necessary reaction to loss. Grief includes feelings of disbelief, anger, fear, and sadness, as well as physical symptoms of fatigue, tension, emptiness, distractibility, and changes in appetite and sleep. It is painful, to be sure, but it is also a byproduct of your ability to invest in meaningful relationships.

See grieving as a process of healing. Grieving is how you gradually let go of what might have been, and adjust to what is. And over time, your outlook will naturally shift from “I must demonstrate I am a worthy mate for her/him” to “I can reclaim my own sense of worth.” Grieving is what sets you free from the pit of despair.

To move through the grieving process, get out of your head and get in touch with your body. Believe it or not, it’s hard to move through an emotional experience by staying in your head. While you’re rationalizing your sense of worthlessness and wracking your brain for solutions, you’ve probably put your emotions on hold and cut off your bodily awareness.

Your bodily sensations tell you the truth about what’s going on for you. Whenever you feel an emotion welling up or feel a contraction somewhere in your body, simply observe your bodily sensations of emotion as they move through you. Particularly if meditation and mindfulness don’t work because intrusive thoughts keep derailing your efforts, you may benefit from this body-centered, somatic approach, with support and coaching on attending to the physical sensations in your body. By training your attention on your body, your mind stays out of the way rather than escalating your pain with inflammatory thoughts.

So, for example, when you’re thinking s/he is what I want and I must demonstrate that I am a worthy mate— or s/he’s just not that into me— or her/his rejection means I’m a failure, switch your focus to your bodily sensations, whatever they might be. I feel tightness in my jaw. Or I have a lump in my throat. Or I have butterflies in my tummy.

Anger (including frustration, irritation, guilt) tends to be expressed as tension in the jaw, head, neck, shoulders, and hands. Sadness (including sorrow, disappointment, despair) is often felt as pain or constriction in the throat, chest, and arms. Fear (including anxiety, worry, dread) might be felt as discomfort or uneasiness in the belly or legs. You may have your own unique responses.

Let feelings flow. When an emotion is triggered, notice how your physiology ramps up at first. Attend to your bodily sensations as you ride the wave, so you can disregard any painful thoughts. Stay on task by scanning your entire body and describing your physical sensations to yourself. You’ll reach the crest, and as your physiology calms down, you’ll slide down into calmer waters. Observe how the wave has passed through you — within a mere minute or two. That’s what emotion is– energy in motion. Your physiology ramps up and then quickly calms down, as long as you don’t sustain it with painful thoughts. It’s just a wave and not a flood, unless you make it so.

That’s why focusing only on your physical sensations is a powerful tool—it renders you incapable of thinking painful thoughts (including repressive ones such as, I can’t feel this grief; it’s too painful; it will destroy me) that needlessly ramp up your pain.  By focusing on your body, you’ve put a halt to that endless loop of mental anguish and existential suffering, and allowed your feelings of grief to flow through and out of you.

Practice this technique every time a wave of emotion comes up, and you’ll never have to experience that particular wave again. Letting your feelings flow through you frees you from their grip and eases your emotional burden– and enables you to naturally move forward.

Granted, letting it flow can be totally scary, especially when your feelings promise to be painful or overwhelming. But by riding the waves, you get to go with the flow and find healing.

Practice deep, slow breathing. Physiologically, the only difference between excitement and fear is whether you’re breathing or not. Fear is excitement without breath. Focusing on your breathing, even for a few minutes a day, can put your brain into a more soothing stateCalm breath also makes it easier for you to practice being a nonjudgmental observer and letting your painful feelings flow when you are triggered. Getting out into nature (ecotherapy) has a similar calming effect. Breathe.

Take one day at a time. There are no deadlines. Trust the process and understand that your adjustment can be as gradual as you need it to be. It’ll happen as you become ready for it.

See hope as an important part of coping. For now, you may be holding onto the hope that you’ll figure out how to win back your beloved. But as you grieve and adjust, your hope can change direction—perhaps to hoping that you can create a happy life for yourself—with or without this person.

 

Source: Deborah L. Davis

9 Sure-Fire Ways To Motivate Yourself

Are you struggling with a lack of motivation?

Have you noticed how your motivation can come and go, quite unpredictably? One day you’re totally fired up and taking massive action and the next day you literally have to drag yourself out of bed.

I’m guessing, like me, you’re wishing you could control this elusive thing called motivation.

What if you could. What if there was a way to consistently motivate yourself to perform at your best, day in and day out?

Want to find out how?

Here are 9 Sure-Fire Ways To Motivate Yourself:

1. Progress from a VISION, to having a MISSION

When you lack vision for your life, your desire to do anything remarkable will be low. You’ll seek out things that entertain you and thrill you rather than important work that challenges you, because of lack of vision. So your first step has to be: get a vision for your life.

Done that? Okay, now go one step further. Find your mission.

Have you noticed how people who’ve done something really significant with their lives have had a strong sense of not just vision, but a mission?

Nelson Mandela

Take a look for example at Nelson Mandela. He lived for something far greater than being the leader of an anti-apartheid party.

His words in the dock before going to prison were :

“I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”

Being willing to spend 27 years in prison to fight for this ideal means this was not just a vision, it was his mission.

So what is a mission?

Some define it as a quest or a calling. I define it as a cause you’re willing to fight for, to sweat over with hard work, tears and supreme effort.

It may be a deep burning desire to do something that impacts society and the way we live. It’s often something that, if accomplished, will make the world a better place.

Here’s the thing: If you have a mission, you’re unlikely to give up when you face hardships, setbacks and disappointments in the pursuit of it. When it’s just a vision, you may find it harder to persevere. Therein lies the distinction.

Find your mission, make it clear and put it in writing.
(Tip: What injustice angers you? What burns you up? What stirs you? Find that and you’ve found important clues to your mission)

2. Tap into your Fear of loss and Desire for gain

According to the late achievement expert, Zig Ziglar, we are motivated by one of two things :

  • Desire for gain
  • Fear of loss

Those two things will drive all of our behaviour.

Think about it – sometimes you’ll be motivated at work because of a fear of losing your job if you don’t meet your targets (fear of loss); or because you want a promotion (desire for gain). You may be motivated to lose weight because of the benefit of increased self-respect, health and happiness (desire for gain). Or perhaps you become motivated to lose weight when your doctor tells you that your diet and lifestyle may lead to disease and limit your life (fear of loss).

So is there an area you would like to be more motivated in?

a)   Put the fear of loss on your side. Write down all of the things you will lose if you don’t take action.
b)  Now utilise the desire for gain in the same area. Write down all the things that you will gain by taking action towards the area where you’re lacking motivation.

3. Adopt a long-term perspective of your life

People with a long-term perspective are more motivated to take action towards meaningful goals than those with a short-term instant gratification mentality.

When we’re highly motivated by a chocolate craving more than the health benefits of cutting down on sugar, it’s because we’re focussing on the short-term gain (pleasure for our taste buds!) rather than a long-term goal of health or becoming our goal weight.

To get a long term perspective, start to pay more attention to your daily habits.

Then ask yourself, ‘If I continue to do this every day like I am now, what will this look like in 1 years’ time? In 5 years’ time? In 10 years’ time?’

‘Am I happy with that?’

If you don’t like the answer to that question, then I’m hoping you feel uncomfortable enough right now to make a change!

According to Aristotle ‘We are what we repeatedly do’, so we need to like what our repeated actions are leading us towards long-term.

5. Gamify your work

This works well with work that you can do easily and is repetitive for e.g. phoning prospects, talking to a desired number of people within a certain period or getting a repetitive admin task done quickly.

Create a challenge for yourself to fulfil 20, 50 or 100 of your key tasks as quickly as possible, within a certain timeframe – put a chart up on the wall to tick off your progress. Or Compete with yourself to see how long you can work before stopping to have a coffee break.

Have a contest with yourself to beat a previous own score. Devise fun incentives for yourself for completing challenges.

According to motivation expert Dan Pink in his 2009 TED talk, these extrinsic rewards are great for tasks that don’t require much cognitive effort – but remember that it’s not an effective motivator for more creative endeavours.

5. Find out what your ‘Hot Buttons’ are

Are you motivated by helping people? By making money? By doing satisfying, challenging work? By problem-solving? By leading others?

Find out what unique things most motivate you. Create a list of those things – and find out ways you can incorporate your unique motivators into your work.

6. Create your own Motivation ‘Playlist’.

Create your own collection of motivating songs, movies and youtube clips of speeches that motivate you. And when you feel the need for some, press play!

The great thing is that Cris Nikolov, founder of motivationgrid.com has done a lot of the work for you. Check out his motivational videos and bookmark your favourites.

One of my favourite is : “Enraged” (watch here), featuring excerpts from a Les Brown speech.

7. Stand Guard over your Mind

You have to stand guard, like a sentry, deciding who and what gets access to your mind.

You get to decide what thoughts you entertain. You also get to decide what you feed your mind with. The books you read, the movies and videos you watch and the people you hang around with all have a powerful influence over your mind.

And what goes into your mind will radically affect your mood and your motivation.

We are powerfully influenced by our ‘mental diet’ – Constantly surrounding yourself with negative people, tragic news, mind-numbing TV and a consumer, entertainment-driven culture will literally suck the life out of you. And your motivation and drive will be sucked out with it.

So be vigilant and diligent. Evaluate your influences. Drastically reduce the negative ones and surround yourself with positive influences. If your current environment doesn’t have any, you’ll have to substitute by listening to training, watching youtube clips, speeches or reading books by inspiring people.

8. Seek out opportunities to work in a field, career or business that utilisies your natural strengths and talents

This may take time, but you can work towards this as you progress in your career or take the entrepreneurial leap into the business of your dreams.

Do the self-analysis needed to find out what environment you love to work in, what people you enjoy working with, what type of work you most love to do and where you’d most like to spend your working hours. Look at every aspect, whether or not you’d rather work in a team or alone, in an office or outdoors or working from home.

Once you’ve done this, you’ll be alert to opportunities that come your way to take the work that you love, where you love to do it, and with whom.

You’ll be at your most motivated when doing the kind of work you most love, in the kind of environment in which you know you thrive.

Money is not enough of a motivator. According to Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez, authors of ‘Your money or your life’ there is a point at which we reach the stage of having ‘enough money’. Earning more money after that point no longer motivates us.

We are more likely, in our businesses and our work, to be motivated by work that is meaningful to us and utilises our talents. We are also more motivated when we enjoy and respect who we work with.

9. Act ‘as if’

Science reveals that our physiology can affect our emotions. So if you act motivated, your emotions will follow suit and you’ll start to feel motivated.

Put on the appearance of being motivated, ‘dress up’ for your day, smile and behave with others as though you are motivated and you will become what you’ve ‘put on.’

If you’re feeling demotivated, just get started. Action can kickstart motivation. Your feelings will follow your actions.

Next Steps

Finally, here’s a few steps to take right now to implement these strategies :

1. Pick just 2 of your favourite ‘motivation’ strategies.

2. Write down what action steps you’ll need to take to apply them to an area where you need more motivation.

3. Either apply that strategy now, or put the steps on a list and book time in your calendar to complete it.

Do you use any of these strategies already? Or do you use other ways to motivate yourself, not mentioned here? Are any of these strategies new ones that you’d like to try out? Let me know in the comments!

 

Source 

Stay Single Until You Meet A Forever Person That Looks Like This

Stay single until you find someone who makes an effort. The effort in surprises. The effort in planning dates. The effort in you. Investing time and energy into the things you care about.

Forever starts with the effort and commitment someone invests in you. As you should them.

Stay single until you find someone who works to build your trust. The one who takes things slow. The one who really wants to know about every sharp edge you have and about the past you regret. Someone who teaches it okay to have made mistakes as long as you learn. But more that that learn from each other.

Forever starts with a foundation of trust.

Stay single until you find someone who flirts with you like you’re the first love. Protects you like they would their siblings. You fight like a married couple but you always make up and talk like best friends.

Forever starts with being friends first then falling into love carelessly but knowing someone will catch you as you fall together.

Stay single until it’s the best sex you’ve ever had. Because intimacy is more than just sleeping with someone. When you care about the person it’s an experience so much more than that.

Forever starts with someone who walks into the room and you feel everything just looking at them. Like they are the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

Stay single until you meet someone who wants to build a future with you. Someone who talks about it but more than that works towards it. Someone who puts money aside because they see you as their wife even though they haven’t said it yet.

Forever is that person you just know with complete confidence they are it.

Stay single until you meet someone who wants to know your family and friends. The person who asks about them constantly. The one who knows how much you value them and would never make you choose between you and them.

Forever is that person who wants to be apart of the life with people who are already there.

Stay single until you meet someone who is willing to make sacrifices. The person who meets you halfway. The one who proves they are as into it as you are.

Forever is that person who doesn’t make you give more than you get. It’s that 50/50 thing when maybe in the past you didn’t know what that felt like.
Stay single until you meet the person who wants to make you a better version of yourself. The one who pushes you towards your goals and help you to achieve things you didn’t think you could.

Forever starts with the person who believes in you before you believe in yourself.

Stay single until you meet the person who makes you happier than you ever thought you could be. The person who sheds a light in your life and fills your heart in such a way you didn’t think was even possible. The person who after meeting them you can’t imagine your life without them.

Forever starts with the person not only you can’t live without but the person who doesn’t want to live without you either.

How to Organize Your Life Right Now In 10 Easy Steps

 

 

 

As a global business consultant, I travel. A lot. And I must admit that, at first, I wasn’t very good at it. Being in multiple countries with multiple time zones in just a few days’ time meant that I needed to be really organized. After a few missed meetings, late night appointments and near-missed flights, I decided to seek the help of productivity specialist, Lori Krolik, President of More Time for You. She taught me the magical life lesson of mastering checklists.

I’ve learned that without them, you’re doomed.

Here’s what she told me:

“Create checklists for the places you travel to, especially globally, when you might need special medicines or articles of clothing. For example, you might need Malaria medicine in certain humid, remote, climates. Or that easily packable down coat when traveling to cold weather. Pull the checklist out each time when you’re getting ready to go to make sure you aren’t forgetting anything.”

It was as if that advice opened a Pandora’s box of how to organize my life. Not only was I able to be in the right place at the right time no matter where I was on the globe, but I began to physically and mentally cut through clutter in all aspects of my life—professional and personal.

And, now that I have it together, I want you share with you the ten secrets of how to organize your life, too.

How to Organize Your Life Right Now In 10 Easy Steps

Prioritize.

First, you’ve got to believe in yourself that you can be the conqueror of clutter. The way to do this is to hone in on what needs to be organized. Don’t be daunted. Think, what areas are the most disorganized? What areas are stressing you out and making it difficult for you to achieve certain tasks like scheduling meetings or fixing supper? Start that checklist and tackle one before moving onto the next.

Get dressed.

There’s a trend among organized people. They start their mornings with the same routine every single day—no matter if they’re going to work or staying home. A lot of successful people like to start the day by making their bed – this way they start the day with a small achievement. This simple act of getting ready for the day no matter where it may take you can change your perspective and help you be more productive. It’s the simple knowledge that you’re prepared for anything—inside or outside the house.

Write everything down.

Sure, we live in an age where pen and paper is antiquated but it’s a great way to remember things. Write out those checklists and savor the triumphant feeling you have when you get to mark things off. For important dates and errands, feel free to use your smart phone. But no matter what, write (or type) it somewhere. To-do lists do no good floating around in your head.

Master the calendar.

Speaking of dates, my productivity guru, Lori, also shared some important advice when it comes to scheduling meetings—be sure to use the notes section in your calendar. Don’t rely on your memory when it comes to recalling who is calling who, or what is on the agenda, or for me, what time zone the call is meant to take place. Auto-conversion doesn’t work sometimes, so she advised me to put all relevant times and time-zones manually in the body of the invitation.

Be an anti-procrastinator.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but procrastination only adds to stress—and disorganization. The longer you wait to do something, the harder it will be to get the task done (plus, you’ll likely do a worse job because of the pressure and time constraints). Getting things done as soon as you can nixes the feeling of having something hanging over your head. Try it! It can be liberating!

Give everything a home.

Some people love, love, love label makers. And, I never quite understood it. Those little machines seem to have an underground fan club of highly organized people. And now I know why—I’ve learned those little things can be a powerful weapon when it comes to getting organized. Pick one up and head to the Container Store and get a host of bins, boxes, and folders. Then go crazy. Give everything in your life its designated place. If everything has a home, you’ll lessen your chances of losing anything. Think of the time you’ll save not looking for your keys! This goes for email, too. Create folders and send those emails home.

Get rid of junk regularly.

A big key to how to organize your life is spending time on a regular basis, whether it be every week or every month, to go through and declutter. Get rid of things you don’t need. A rule I have for clothes and personal items is, if I haven’t used it in a year, to bring it to Good Will or a consignment shop. Also, if I purchase something new, like a new sweater or pair of shoes, that means I must get rid of something. This also helps fight the clutter war.

Put things back where they belong.

Now that everything has a “home”, make sure it stays that way. Don’t use that flashlight and then stick it in a nearby cupboard. Take a moment and place it back in the neatly labeled container you got it from. That way when you need it next, you’ll know where to look.

Share the work.

One of the perks of being really organized is freedom from being really stressed and overwhelmed. And freedom from being really stressed and overwhelmed means demands that you not have too much on your plate. Really organized people know how to delegate. If you find that your plate is overflowing, prioritize and consider dropping or delegating the less important tasks. It’s okay to cancel plans so that you have time to think. Or, even, just to breathe.

That brings me to my last secret of how to organize your life—

Stop trying to be perfect!

Organized people have the image of being perfectionists but the truth is, they aren’t. It’s just the illusion they’ve created because they have the space and time to do what’s important well. If you feel like you must do everything perfectly, you’re not going to get anything done. So try to do the best you can for the most important stuff, and be okay with “good enough” for the others—or ask for help. This will help you combat procrastination and free up your time.

Since I discovered these secrets of how to organize one’s life and work, I’ve been much more productive while being less stressed. It seems contradictory but by investing a little bit of time into organizing every day, I’ve been able to have more time to do the things I want—and do them well.

 

source

How To Create a Compelling Vision For Your Future

Opening the door to the spirit of possibility

Have you ever been standing there in the doorway of what’s next? Are you wondering, what should I do with my life?   So often we pull back from these moments not prepared to execute a plan, not because we don’t want to change but simply because we just don’t have one.  What you’re looking for is a new “vision” for yourself.  One that will ignite your spirit, remain fueled by the energy within your heart, and transform your life into a new reality.  Here’s the good news, believe it or not you’re in the right place for change. Step through this doorway with the spirit of possibility and a focused new vision for your future.

So often we pull back from these moments not prepared to execute a plan, not because we don’t want to change but simply because we just don’t have one.  What you’re looking for is a new “vision” for yourself.  One that will ignite your spirit, remain fueled by the energy within your heart, and transform your life into a new reality.  Here’s the good news, believe it or not you’re in the right place for change. Step through this doorway with the spirit of possibility and a focused new vision for your future.

6 Ways To Create a Compelling Vision For Your Future.

1. Slowdown

All too often we are in such reaction to what’s going on around us, the phone, the car, the job, the continuous pressing noise that surrounds our daily life. Hang it all up for a little while. Sometimes we never put aside any time for ourselves to heal and adjust to our surroundings, forget set a course for the future.  Stop, take some vital time for yourself, use this time to just be by yourself for a little while free from all the distractions in your life. Sit and think about what you want your life to be like and what you want it to represent.

2. Clear your Mind

Find a quiet place to be alone with your thoughts for a while, really spend some time with your inner self.  Take some deep diaphragmatic breaths in and out, just feel the air passing your lips while you clear your mind.  When you arrive at a clear open space in your mind, what do you hear? What is your inner voice saying to you? What’s actually important to you, what are you really passionate about, what are you great at?

3. Think Big

Now is not the time to hold back, now is the time to let go. Think about what you are capable of and reach for the maximum outcome. If you aim high your successes will be monumental.  If you shoot too low, who cares right? Take this time to dream about the possibilities and what you can do if you put your heart and soul into it. Truly step outside the norm and think about what you could accomplish if you put your heart into it, genuinely let go and dream about the possibilities for a while.

4. Get Focused

Once you have a clear picture of what’s important to you, and what you’re capable of, now it’s time to focus on what that really is.  See your vision for yourself in full detail as if it were already completed.  See every single angle of this vision, know what it feels like to accomplish it and feel what it would be like to represent it. Clarity is key, you must completely know what your vision will look like from front to back, side to side, inside and out. Visualize your future as rewarding and exciting.

5. Believe in Yourself

Your spirit exists primarily in your belief of “what if” and the possibilities of what you are capable of.  When you find yourself on the edge of self doubt, stop and say, “yes” I can do this, this is truly who I am and whom I am about to become! Accept nothing less than your personal best for yourself and take things one step at a time. Small steps lead to giant leaps over time.  Remember a time when you experienced success, hold those thoughts and feelings close to your heart and remember, you can do it, and you’ve succeeded before and this time there’s no stopping you.

6. Take Action

Once you’ve developed your vision, you must take a step towards it in order to start the process. If not, your new vision will just dissolve into nothing, and slowly wash away and be forgotten.

It doesn’t have to be overwhelming just a small step to symbolize the beginning of this next journey in your life. Prove to yourself that you are committed to making this a reality, serve yourself a taste of the future.

Remember this is only the beginning, time is ticking off right in front of you. What you do with your time shape’s your destiny, so make every second count.  Where you focus your heart is who you really are, and what you leave behind. What you do with your spirit will light up your soul forever.

What you see with your vision, you will live today and make decisions for tomorrow.  Open the door to the possibilities, be the true you, and live the adventure of a lifetime, your lifetime.

50 Soft Skills for Lifelong Happiness and Success

 

Perhaps you look on them with envy? It’s understandable. But as you’ll soon see, you can leave envy behind – and start to build your own happiness and success.

You Probably Weren’t Taught Soft Skills at School

Have you come across the term ‘soft skills’ before? Most likely not. To be honest, it’s something that is rarely taught in schools. However, to be truly happy and successful you need to develop a wide-range of soft skills.

If you’re wondering what soft skills are, then think about skills related to your attitude, disposition and personality. (How you choose to communicate with others, for example.)

Schools typically fail to develop our soft skills. For instance, you may know how to write a 1000-word essay on WW2, but do you know how to demonstrate your trustworthiness to a vulnerable, frightened person?

Why Soft Skills Are so Important

Soft skills can make a huge difference to your life. Without them, you’ll struggle to find work, partners and happiness. Soft skills really do matter.

To give you a concrete example, think about a time when you interviewed for a job – but were unsuccessful. You may have been turned down because you lacked experience or qualifications, but it’s also possible that you lost the job due to having inadequate soft skills.

Situations such as interviews, require a variety of soft skills from the interviewee. These include: being a good listener, emphasizing with the interviewer, and demonstrating a positive attitude.

To Be Happy and Successful, Develop These 50 Soft Skills

Happy and successful people are likely to have most (if not all) of the 50 soft skills listed below:

  1. The ability to listen. Through listening, you can learn from others. You’ll also gain more friends – as most people love to talk about themselves or their lives.
  2. Willingness to accept feedback. Whether good or bad, feedback is vital for your success. For example, by taking criticism on board, you may be able to make positive changes.
  3. Having a flexible approach. Flexibility is not taught in schools, but is required in all areas of life. Just think how many times you’ve had to adjust your plans to match a partner’s requirements?
  4. Assertive when needed. You may not be a naturally assertive person. However, you should definitely learn to be assertive when the situation requires it. For instance, if you need to ask a shopkeeper for a refund.
  5. Can focus on a task or problem. In today’s technology-drowned world, attention spans have dropped to all-time lows. Break out of this, and develop a powerful ability to focus on what needs doing. This will put you streets ahead of the average person.
  6. Understands the power of team working. Being able to work harmoniously in a team is a vital skill. Whether you work in a factory, office or shop, it’s inevitable that you’ll be part of a team. You must learn how to get on with others, and if you’re a team leader, you must also know how to motivate and inspire your team.
  7. Knows when to be competitive. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t class myself as a competitive person. However, I’ve learned that from time-to-time that being competitive is essential to success. In my case, I’ve had to regularly compete with other freelance writers for work. In your case, you may find yourself having to compete with colleagues to attain a higher position within your company.
  8. Confident in all situations. Successful people seem to ooze confidence. You’ll need to do the same if you want to match their success. If you lack confidence now, then try building it by completing small goals (which you can enlarge as your confidence grows).
  9. Understands how to resolve conflict. It’s sad to admit it, but conflict is everywhere. You probably argue with your partner, and fall-out with colleagues at work. For happiness’ sake, develop conflict resolution skills. This can be as simple as knowing when to walk away from a confrontation.
  10. Has a courteous and good-mannered personality. In my experience, many people are unaware of how they come across to others. For example, they may appear arrogant and aloof when they are simply trying to show self-confidence. To be courteous and good-mannered is to return to a relaxed, natural state. Put any pretensions aside, and let your inner charm shine for all to see.
  11. Enjoys providing great service. Whether dealing with customers or colleagues, be sure to put great service at the heart of all your interactions. By doing this, you’ll increase your chances of success, and also boost your personal happiness. Try it and see.
  12. Can deal with the stress of difficult circumstances. You’ve just lost a job that you’ve dedicated the last 10 years of your life to. Do you crumble from the shock – or do you quickly pick yourself up and look for opportunities? Sure, there are difficult circumstances to deal with in life. Nevertheless, always focus on the positive, and refuse to be dragged down by negative thoughts and emotions.
  13. Is quick at making decisions. I remember reading a self-help book that stated: “Winners make decisions quickly, losers make them slowly.” There’s definitely something to this. If you take days and weeks making decisions, you’ll often find yourself left behind by those who make decisions quickly. (And also act on these decisions quickly.)
  14. Is 100% trustworthy. Trust is vitally important in life. We’re bombarded daily by news stories of people being mugged, cheated and even killed. These relentless stories seep into our subconscious, and make us wary of everyone we come into contact with. To help counteract this, you must be 100% trustworthy at all times. By doing this, you’ll quickly gain the confidence of others, and soon develop a reputation for being honest and reliable.
  15. Has an eagerness to learn. Where would we be without learning? From our birth to adulthood, we constantly learned new things. However, as we aged further, many of us stopped learning. To stay young, happy and satisfied, re-ignite your enthusiasm for learning.
  16. Knows when to delegate tasks. Are you someone who likes to do everything yourself? If yes, you may find that you often run out of time and energy. If you have family members or colleagues whom you’re able to delegate tasks to, then use this option when needed. However, for this to work successfully, be sure to match delegated tasks to individuals with the relevant skills.
  17. Communicates clearly and effectively. Communication is at the heart of all personal and business interactions. It’s critical that you learn how to write and speak well. And of course, communication is not a one-way street. You must also be a good listener.
  18. Is fired-up with an abundance of energy. Have you noticed how famous celebrities seem to be super-energetic? They are lively, vivacious and charismatic. If you have low energy levels, you’re unlikely to be attracting success. Try boosting your energy through healthy eating, exercise and meditation.
  19. Has great interpersonal relationship skills. Happy people know how to interact harmoniously with others. They are comfortable communicating with people from all backgrounds and walks of life. They also know how to partake in constructive conversations and meetings. The best way to learn interpersonal skills, is to listen and watch others who are naturally great at this skill.
  20. When needed, can follow instructions. You may want to always do your own thing, but to be successful in life, sometimes you need to follow directions and instructions from others. For example, your manager may usually let you do your work in your own way, but occasionally, he may need to give you specific instructions on completing a task.
  21. When needed, can think ‘outside of the box’. I definitely don’t remember this skill being taught at my school. However, being able to think beyond a set of specific rules, regulations or limits can be a very valuable skill. It’s often the way that ‘game-changing’ ideas first come into play.
  22. Has a warm, approachable and friendly personality. Without a friendly personality, you’re unlikely to find many new friends, or exciting opportunities. As an example, if two people with the exact same skills and experience applied for a job, but one was friendly and the other was not, who do you think would get the job?
  23. Knows how to tell compelling stories. Stories are the lifeblood of society. You may recall the bedtime stories that your parents read to you when you were a child. From there, you most likely became addicted to reading novels and watching movies. Storytelling is global and timeless. Everyone loves stories. To succeed in life, learn how to be a great storyteller.
  24. Is endowed with a super-positive mental attitude. Negativity will get you nowhere. Life has so many ups and downs, that if you focus on the negative, you’ll quickly lose sight of what’s possible. Positive people constantly seek out opportunities. For sure, be realistic. But also carry a super-positive mental attitude with you at all times.
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  25. Is highly-organized at all times. Do you class yourself as an organized person? If yes, do others also see you that way? Being highly-organized is not just desirable – it’s essential! Whether you want to climb the corporate ladder or write your first novel, being organized can make the difference between success and failure.
  26. Has persuasive powers. No, this isn’t some kind of superhero power! On the contrary, it’s an ability that many people have developed. Think of politicians and preachers. They have learned the art of communicating in a persuasive and convincing manner. Whatever your role in life, if you learn to communicate persuasively, you’ll likely go far.
  27. Is creative and innovative. Bill Gates, Michael Jackson and Elon Musk all excelled in their fields because they were creative and innovative. It allowed them to stand out from their competitors. You can do the same. Start by looking for ways to do things differently.
  28. Understands the power of non-verbal communications. If you’ve watched a nature program recently, you’ve likely seen how some animals communicate. For example, a wolf can control a cub just by using a specific look in its eyes. As for us humans… While we have the ability to speak, it’s estimated that 55% of our face-to-face communicationsactually takes place through body language.1 In other words, our body language is the primary factor in the effectiveness of our communications with others.
  29. Has fantastic planning and goal-setting abilities. Without goals, we are simply drifting with the tide. If you desire success and achievement, then make sure that you have specific goals – and a plan to reach them. If you’ve never tried goal-setting before, start small, and build your way up to bigger and bigger goals.
  30. Thrives on problem solving. Take a look around. Problems are everywhere! Luckily, if you develop a strong problem solving capability, you’ll soon find yourself in demand. Many people run from problems. So, this leaves plenty of opportunities and work for those who thrive on finding solutions to problems.
  31. Knows how to make other people laugh. Can you imagine if humor didn’t exist? We’d be stuck in a dreary, lifeless world where everything was serious. I’m sure with your friends and family you have a great sense of humor. However, how about at work, or when you meet strangers? In these situations, perhaps you retreat into your shell. Break free, and add humor to all of your interactions (where appropriate). Your popularity will soar, and your personal happiness will climb too.
  32. Is always punctual. Think about how frustrating it is when buses or trains are running late. It often leads to people becoming stressed or angry. You should see your own timekeeping in a similar light. If you’re constantly late for meetings, people may not tell you, but they’re likely to be angry or fed up with you. Timekeeping is about respect for others. So, please be punctual!
  33. Is a master at reading body language. As we’ve seen in point 28, body language counts for approximately 55% of all face-to-face communications. Of course, that percentage is just an average. An expert body language reader will be able to take even more information from someone – just by observing their body language. It’s a very useful skill to have, as sometimes body language contradicts what someone is saying with words.
  34. Loves researching. You don’t have to be a scientist to benefit from research. It may be something as simple as researching the best laptop to buy. Successful people typically love researching. But it’s not just random research. They’re driven to research by a want to reach a certain goal or aim.
  35. Values and respects others. This is a soft skill that unfortunately, seems to be going out of fashion at present. Too many people have become self-centered, and put their desires above the needs of other people. Please don’t fall into this trap. Instead, make sure you value and respect all those you come into contact with. Interestingly, by respecting others, you’ll find they respect you more in return.
  36. Knows how to ‘stay on task’. “Wait, I just need to check my Facebook page….” You know how it goes. You start doing something, but within minutes, you get distracted by other people or breaking news, etc. I’ll be honest with you, it’s very easy to be distracted and lose focus on the task at hand. One thing that might help, though: turn off your cell phone, to avoid being interrupted by calls or messages.
  37. Keeps up-to-date with trends. Stagnant people aren’t interested in keeping up with the latest trends. They’ve given up on life, and no longer care what the world may have to offer. Don’t be like these people. Instead, have a keen eye on trends in the workplace, technology and health, etc. You’ll be a more interesting person to talk to, and you’ll also be able to make better decisions about your future.
  38. Expertly manages their time. Time management is more than just arriving to work early. It’s about knowing how to prioritize tasks, when to take breaks, and being able to plan projects. Time management is a hugely important skill that you should definitely learn (if you haven’t already). It can make your life easier and more productive.
  39. Adapts quickly and easily to change. Heraclitus famously said: “The only thing that is constant is change.” Wise words. And in my experience, 100% accurate. Life is constantly evolving and changing, and if we pretend otherwise, we will find ourselves relentlessly unprepared. Happy and successful people know that life is forever changing. They’ve learned how to adapt quickly and easily to most changes that they encounter. You should do the same.
  40. Has learned the art of troubleshooting. The Cambridge Dictionary describes troubleshooting as follows: “Discovering why something does not work effectively and making suggestions about how to improve it.” Well said! This is a skill that you may need to work on. Firstly, you must find the motivation to really want to improve something. Once you have that, delve deep into the issue, and seek solutions.
  41. Understands the importance of being well-groomed. Imagine a lawyer turning up to court in a pair of faded blue jeans and a ripped T-Shirt. It’s likely the judge would have the lawyer removed from the courtroom! It’s an improbable scenario, but hopefully, it drives home the point that you must be appropriately dressed. Jeans and T-shirt are probably okay if you’re working for a Silicon Valley startup, but if you’re interviewing for a position at a local accountancy firm – you may want to stick to wearing a suit and tie.
  42. Strives for the ideal work-life balance. Happiness is not dependent on money. In fact, those who become obsessed with earning money, are often far from happy. As with most things in this world, balance is the key. Sure, you want to work hard and earn money. But just ensure that you leave enough time (and energy) to enjoy the rewards.
  43. Sees the best in others. If you’re honest with yourself, do you have this trait? Most of us don’t. However, it’s a fantastic skill to have. Seeing the best in others means that you can help them develop to the best of their potential. It also means that you can quickly build rapport and trust with other people.
  44. Knows the value of multi-tasking. If you work in an office environment, then you’re sure to recognize this scenario: You’re typing away at your computer, then your desk phone rings. You answer, but as you’re speaking to the caller, someone comes up to your desk and asks you a question. Situations like this can be overwhelming and frustrating. However, as they will always occur from time-to-time, you need to build a strategy of dealing with them. Multi-tasking can be taught, and I’d highly recommend that you learn to do it.
  45. Leads through example. Great leaders teach through example. They’re also willing to do any task that they may ask others to do. You can adopt this approach too. For example, instead of asking your team to work in a specific way, let them see how efficiently you work, and they’ll naturally want to copy that.
  46. Continually seeks to improve. The Japanese call this kaizen – the strategy of seeking continuous improvement. This could be about a business process, or the way an athlete prepares for a race. Whatever the circumstance, there’s almost certainly room to improve some part of the process. If you develop a mindset of constantly looking for ways to improve things, you’ll rapidly find yourself climbing the ladder of success.
  47. Is always persistent. Perseverance is another word for this. To reach the heights of success, you’ll definitely need to demonstrate this trait. Consider for a moment, that you’re attempting to start your first business. From an initial spark of inspiration, you’ll have hundreds of steps to complete before your business can be in operation. Any of these steps could be problematic, and without persistence your business may fail even before it gets through the starting gates.
  48. Can be patient when needed. Things don’t always go to plan, and delays can often creep into projects. Experienced professionals are well aware of this, and have developed patience to see themselves through these delays. You should do the same. Instead of getting frustrated and angry with delays, let patience work its magic. You’ll develop poise and calmness. And you can also use any downtime to work on other goals or projects.
  49. Keeps their emotions in check. In life, it’s normal to express emotions in certain circumstances (the death of a loved one, for example). However, if you’ve set your heart on success, then you’ll need to keep your emotions in check when you’re in ‘professional mode’. For instance, let’s say that your manager has just told you off for coming in a few minutes late to work. Your instinct might be to become angry, and argue with them. While this might make you feel good, it’s highly unlikely to help your chances of being promoted at work!
  50. Has a highly-developed sense of intuition. Many top business leaders admit to making some of their decisions based on ‘gut feeling’. In other words, they’ve developed their intuitive side to the point where they’re willing to trust its promptings. You can do the same. Tapping into your intuition can be boosted by: letting your subconscious work on a decision while you sleep, practicing meditation, or going for a walk in the park. These techniques allow your intuition to come to the surface. (Usually its hidden behind your constant mental chatter.)

As you can see, soft skills are an essential part of happiness and success. Develop the ones you already have, and adopt the ones you’re missing. Do this, and watch your happiness and success climb to new heights.

How to Avoid Deathbed Regrets with This Daily Practice

 

I think most of us will find that we fit into question number two. I know I did.

Until one day I asked myself some serious questions about where I was at in my life journey…

Is this really where I see myself 20 years from now? Do I still feel fulfilled? Am I the person I spent my whole life wanting to be?

No.

Just like that, my entire life changed.

Asking myself questions like these changed the way I perceived myself. I wired my thought process to seek change and drive ambition.

Being confident in your decisions and in your capabilities can play a huge part in avoiding self-doubt and regret. I was already regretting not pursuing my ambitions earlier. At least I finally asked myself the question I needed to, affirmed who I was, where I wanted to be, and acted.

This is how I practice self-affirmation.

However, learning how to stay aligned with your dreams and goals while staying confident can be a serious struggle.

Most of us will be plagued with regrets throughout our life; however, learning how to develop self-affirmation can go a long way in making decisions and living the fulfilling life that isn’t plagued with self-doubt.

What is self-affirmation?

In its simplest form, it is the act of having a positive attitude toward yourself. It is valuing who you are and believing you have a purpose. It’s being confident in you.

However, identifying and practicing self-affirmation can be much more difficult than it sounds.

Thankfully, a few simple questions can help guide us in the right direction and help affirm that we are working towards the life that we have always wanted for ourselves. This means reducing the regrets we may have 20 years down the road.

What questions should we ask ourselves daily?

  • Am I happy?
  • Am I excited for life?
  • Is this the life I envisioned for myself?
  • Am I making decisions today that will positively impact my life tomorrow?
  • Is my daily routine allowing me to cross of my “bucket list” items (throughout the long term)?
  • Is today a step that helps me towards the goals that I want to pursue?
  • Am I making the most of opportunities?
  • Am I proud of where I’m at in life?
  • Has today made me feel fulfilled?

Now, I’m not suggesting you need to ask yourself each one of these questions every day. However, taking time every day to evaluate how you feel by choosing a few of these questions can help keep your brain be “trained” to think positively. Doing this daily can wire your thought process towards ambition and fulfillment. It helps keep you focused on who you want to be. It allows you to think positively about yourself and your aspirations.

Out of all of those questions, I recommend asking yourself if you are feeling fulfilled every day. Fulfilment can go a long in self-confidence and optimism.

As for asking yourself some of these questions daily, are you confident in your answers? Are you living up to your potential?

If you are not, maybe it is time to start reavaluating somethings.

What did my affirmation questions result in? Me quitting my job, finally pursing my dreams, and trying this adventure through self-affirmation.

Give it a try, you might be surprised where it will lead you.

 

 

Source :- Life hack 

Life is like a cup of coffee.

 

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… And then you began eyeing each other’s cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee, not the cups!

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. 


Live simply. 
Love generously. 
Care deeply. 
Speak kindly. 

~Unknown