17 Things To Let Go Of In 2017

Things To Let Go Of In 2017

1.

Let go of the belief that you have to have everything figured out right now. That you have to know exactly who you want to be, exactly what you want to do, exactly who you want to have a life with. Be okay with the fact that you’re going to go through life feeling blind and unsteady and never fully sure of what you’re doing, because that’s how it’s supposed to be.

2.

Let go of the idea that people are either 100% good or 100% bad. Focus on learning as much as you can about a person, about their past and their present and their struggles and their pain, before you succumb to the human instinct of instant judgement.

3.

Let go of your hatred of your body. Understand that it’s okay to want to be healthy, to want to be proud of your body, and to want to look good and feel well. But also understand that you are only mortal, that there will always be something that you don’t like about yourself, and that it’s more of a journey of figuring out how to love yourself anyway than it is about ‘fixing’ what you are convinced is wrong with you.

4.

Let go of your anger towards the friends who have hurt you but have also repeatedly tried to make it up to you. Forgive them, bring them back into your life, and watch how much happier and lighter you are because of it.

5.

Let go of friends who don’t put effort into your relationship. It doesn’t have to be a fight, or a dramatic, official goodbye. But let go of the energy that you spend on them that never gets returned. Come to peace with it, and with them. Be okay with the fact that you can still love them while also letting them go, in order to make room for the friends who always meet you halfway.

6.

Let go of the idea that you must be right all the time. You’re human and you make mistakes and sometimes you’re wrong and that’s okay, as long as you own up to it.

7.

Let go of your belief that it’s too late to start the career that you actually want. It is never too late.

8.

Let go of people who make you feel like you have to change in order to be loved by them.

9.

Let go of your passivity, of the tendency to watch life as it happens to you instead of taking charge of it yourself. Stop convincing yourself that you don’t have that much control over your life, that this is the job you’re stuck with or this is the city you’re stuck with or this is the partner you’re stuck with and you just have to deal with it, even if it makes you unhappy. Decide for yourself that you are powerful enough to change things, then start small and don’t stop.

10. 

Let go of the idea that anxiety or depression are things to be ashamed about. Be kind to yourself, get the help you need and deserve, and understand that you are not alone.

11. 

Let go of the pressure you put on yourself to be perfect. Embrace your flaws, embrace your screwups, embrace all the reasons why you are not perfect and figure out the numerous ways that they actually make you stronger.

12.

Let go of bitterness over tiny things – traffic, loud people on the train, an annoying coworker. Stop letting the little things ruin your day. They can become pretty powerful, if you let them.

13. 

Let go of mediocrity, of any tendency you have to not give it your all. Don’t be a mediocre friend, a mediocre employee, a mediocre partner. Don’t feel mediocre about your job and don’t feel mediocre about the things you spend your time on outside of your job. Work towards greatness, in everything that you do. It doesn’t mean you have to be great at everything all the time, but you have to at least aim for it.

14.

Let go of negative self-talk. Of telling yourself that you’re not good enough or you’re not successful enough or that you are undeserving of love. You will probably never fully get to this point, of being truly immune to negative self-talk. But you can certainly make a dent in decreasing it, and in making a conscious effort to be more kind and loving towards yourself.

15.

Let go of wasting stupid amounts of money on things that are not worth it or things you don’t care about.

16.

Let go of the loud world you let yourself live in, with constant notifications and noise and scrolling and liking and sharing and clicking. Let yourself have some peace, or even just a moment to live in your own mind and to listen to your own thoughts, without someone or something trying to steal your attention.

17.

Let go of toxic thoughts, toxic things, toxic people, your own toxic behavior. Focus on being kind, on putting more goodness into the world, on giving and loving and making other people happy and relishing in how happy that makes you in return. Spread love and spread light.

Written by Kim Quindlen

This is the Kind of Man you Deserve. {Poem}

This is the Kind of Man you Deserve. {Poem}

 

There is nothing sexier than a man

Who knows how to traverse the juicy pathways of his own heart

A man who can stand to be called out on his sh*t

A man who, when you boldly ask him to be there,

Says yes—hell yes

And shows up beautifully,

With every ounce of his beating heart.

 

There is nothing more beautiful than a man

Who talks openly and passionately about what’s on his mind

Rather than pulling far away and glossing it over

With a bullish*t generic response of

“I’m fine.”

 

There is nothing more breathtaking in the world than a man

Who knows the salty taste of tears

A man who lets you see him on his worst days

Stripped

Sad

And raw—

Vulnerability hanging out of his split-open heart like ripped ribbons.

 

There is nothing more bone-suckin’ delicious than a man

Who knows how to take care of a woman,

How to touch her softly and fiercely at the same time

How to f*ck her wildly while gazing gently into the sapphire depths of her soul

How to set her free while claiming her

And make her feel like a cherished jewel of divinity,

Like the goddess she is.

 

There is absolutely nothing more astounding than a man

Who kisses like he could die five minutes from now

A man who understands the gem preciousness of this breath

This inhale…and exhale…

A man who wants nothing more

Than to face the world together

As you both smile,

Breathe

Set the air around you on delicate fire

Transcend bullsh*t

And ascend towards nectar galaxies far too beautiful to comprehend.

 

There is nothing more maddeningly magnificent than a man

Who pulls you close and declares his love for you

And shouts it from the rooftops like music

And weaves his fingers through yours with ripe enthusiasm

And isn’t scared to call you too soon

And call you out on your sh*t

And call you

The luscious love of

His life.

 

There is nothing more goddamn gorgeous than a man

Who is fiercely himself

Who holds the strongest heart space

In his warm, sultry embrace

For you to bloom

Blossom

Flourish

And soar

As he does the same.

 

At the end of every dissolving sands, apricot sunset-soaked day—there is nothing sexier than a man

Who knows how to love himself.

A man who values the truth running through his veins like sacred ink.

A man brave enough to be there for you—and himself—when sh*t is beautiful and when it’s completely falling apart.

This is the kind of man you deserve.

A man who isn’t afraid of emotion.

A man who shows up one hundred percent.

A man who is ready—who craves—every drop, drip and ounce of an authentic, earthy goddess of a wonderful woman like you.

 

Let him kiss you with his entire being until you remember who you really are.

Don’t settle down with him—

Settle up

Into a more luscious, technicolor life

A life so beautiful it hurts sometimes.

A life so fulfilling you’ll never be thirsty again.

A life so freeing and spun of soul it makes you dizzy.

Anything less than this

Heartfelt, present, purely sacred beauty

Is a goddamn

Tragedy.

Don’t settle

Down—

Settle up.

‘Cause when the divine masculine meets the divine feminine, magic happens.

The sweetest magic of all.

Are you ready for it?

 

Author:  Sarah Harvey

This poem was orginally published in the http://www.elephantjournal.com/

What it really feels like when someone you love cheats on you.

What it really feels like when someone you love cheats on you - Cheating on someone

Cheating on someone is one of the worst (I repeat – WORST) things you can ever do to someone. To you, it might have been all a game, but to them, it might have meant everything.

Whether or not you’re doing it to fill a void or just for the thrill of it, when you cheat on someone, you’re doing more than just hurting them. You might be unaware of the consequences of your actions, but let me tell you, for someone who has been cheated on, it will always be some sort of reminder to them – it will always haunt them. It is a concoction of heartbreak, anger, regret, anxiety, and shame all rolled into one.

When you cheat on someone, you’re telling them they’re not good enough for you. That you never loved them.

You may beg to differ, but how can you put someone you truly love in such a position? To make them doubt their self-worth? To make them question everything they thought they knew about you? To make them believe that their trust was completely misplaced?

“Did I do something wrong?”
“What could I have done to prevent it?”
“Why did this happen?”
“Am I not good enough?”
“Why did you do it?”

– are questions you’ll ask yourself over and over again when you’ve been cheated on.

You don’t cheat on someone you love. Period.

When you cheat on someone, they’ll always be emotionally scarred. They’ll have their walls up because they don’t want to ever be hurt that way again. To feel like your world is crumbling, to believe that things like that happened, but just not to you. You see it in movies all the time, but we all know what happens in the movies and what happens in real life are two completely different ball games altogether.

They won’t let just anyone in; and even when they do let someone in eventually, they’ll always be guarded.

They’ll be paranoid, and you can’t blame them for it. Even if they’re in a new happy relationship, they’ll carry the hurt and the emotional baggage from the previous relationship into their new relationship – whether it be conscious or not – and it can’t be helped. They’ll always be suspicious, but don’t blame them for it; they’re just afraid that the same thing will happen to them again, and they can’t go through something as painful as that ever again.

They’ll want to trust again, but it’ll be difficult for them. They would take forever to learn how to trust, and how to be okay. Even if they’ve come to the rational conclusion that their cheating ex is a horrible person, you’ll somehow still fear that every future partner has or is cheating on you. Congratulations, you’re now an emotional wreck and a mess inside, and you’re going to spend every waking moment trying not to imagine the worst because you believe you’re completely broken.

When you cheat on someone, what you really mean to tell them is this: “I don’t love you. I don’t respect you, and I don’t care for/about you. I didn’t think about us, and how this would affect us. I was only thinking about myself.”

Is just one person not enough for us anymore? Aren’t we supposed to just find one person whom we think is worth it, and always stick by them through the good, the bad and the ugly?

When you love your partner, it means you respect them. And when you cheat on them, you’re betraying all of that. Isn’t it absolutely apparent that loyalty is fundamental in any relationship? We don’t need a Guide Book for Dummies for that, do we?

So please, leave if you must, but don’t cheat on someone you love, because that is the worst kind of damage you can do to someone who loves you.

Written by: Vondra Tay (with permission)

Why Second Love Is The Real One

Why Second Love Is The Real One.

Second love teaches you how to love again after you’ve been broken. It teaches you that love still exists, that you’re capable of loving again and loving harder. That you can still have faith in love no matter how much pain your first love caused you. Second love is there to pick up the pieces.

Second love gives you hope. That your fairy tale is still out there. That heartbreak is not the end of the world and that there are better things ahead. It shows you what happens when you move on, when you let go, when you try again and when you never lose hope. Second love shows you the light after the dark.

Second love is braver. It means you know how to forgive, you know how to risk getting hurt again because it’s worth it. It means that you’re prepared for the worst but you’re hoping for the best. Second love makes you stronger.

Second love makes you believe in timing. Why things didn’t work out the first time around, why you fell in love with the wrong person, why you had to get your heartbroken and why someone left you when they promised to love you. It’s here to tell you that there is always a valid reason behind your pain and that loving someone doesn’t always mean they’re right for you. Second love answers all these questions.

Second love makes sense. It’s not based on childhood fantasies or lust or infatuation. It’s not blind or reckless or toxic. It’s not based on unrealistic expectations or sheer obsession. Second love comes after you’ve learned to listen to your gut, to watch for the red flags, to pick someone because they will add value to your life and when you’ve learned to make decisions out of maturity not out of loneliness.

Second love shows you that you can be someone’s first choice and shows you what it really means to be loved.

Written by Rania Naim